Couples Therapy
Generally Couple's therapy is different from individual therapy because "the client in the room is actually the relationship the couple brings and not people who are the couple.!'
Welcome to my information page on working with couples.
I work with couples in a wide range of relationships. This would include those of differing gender identities, so men, women and those who might identify as non-binary, trans or perhaps gender queer. I work with couples who might be married, in civil partnership, in committed relationships or perhaps open sexual relationships or polyamorous arrangements.
The first question i ask of each member of the partnership is something around “What are you wanting from coming to couple’s work?” and I am particularly interested in how the each person in the coupling see my role as therapist. “What are you wanting from me as therapist, in this work?”
People come for couples thearpy for many different reasons, and at different stages of their relationship. Some may come early on in a relationship, needing to address early issues of incompatibility or relatedness difficulty. Others may come much later in the relationship, prior to or after divorce to discuss the best ways of co-parenting their children. People come to gain support to stay together, or to separate successfully, or to resolve unfinished relational business.
I see my role is to help assess carefully where you are as a couple, to make no assumptions, to offer no judgements on how you choose to live and shape your world. Instead I will be curious, committed and compassionate as endeavour to support you as individuals and your relationship.
“Gwynne was really helpful in discussing with us how our early experiences in our families of origin were impacting us now as a couple.
I didn’t realize how much we were interlocking as a couple and bringing out the most difficult bits of each other – by replaying early family life!”
Does the past impact the present in couple's work?
There are many key components to couple’s work. The developmental stage of a relationship is a vital window into the work.
Another key piece of work is to notice how the couple is able to listen, and more importantly, hear the other. I will be inviting all parties to notice the quality of communication and how able each member of the couple is able to listen and empathise with the other.
Importantly are issues of “re-enactment”. How does the here-and-now relationship replay the past for its participants. What were the early experiences of being in relationship with family and caregivers – and how is that being replayed in the difficulties of the here-and-now? Is the past a useful resource or a troublesome, traumatic memory?